Top 6 Movie Scenes of All Time

This list is not indicative of the best movies nor my favorite movies, but rather it lists some movie scenes that have resonated with me for whatever reason. Hopefully you agree with this list, but if not.. let me know what your favorite scenes are!

Without further adieu and in no particular order:

1. Security of Your Shit - Burn After Reading

I have always been a huge Coen Brothers fan (since my dad introduced me to Raising Arizona as a youngin') but Burn After Reading is probably my favorite of their movies.. and I think that's attributable to this scene. Brad Pitt plays the dim-witted, frosted tips wearing gym douche (for lack of a better word) so incredibly well and it's such a pleasure watching him on screen. What makes this scene so memorable is that the wannabe blackmail goes awry because it's obvious his calm demeanor and stupidity are no match for the innately angry, foul-mouthed John Malkovich... which I think makes pure cinematic GOLD.

2. Am I on Speakerphone? - The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin in the Woods serves as a hybrid between a satire of typical horror movie cliches and The Hunger Games. With such a disturbing premise, it is insanely funny to see one of the film's antagonists pauses an otherwise ominous speech to inquire whether or not he is on speakerphone.  This scene makes me laugh every time I watch it, because it just goes to show that literally EVERYONE hates being on speakerphone (including backwoods, gas station owning villains).

3. Crazy Cat Lady - A Clockwork Orange

I once chose to write a 4000 word essay on A Clockwork Orange when I was in high school.. so maybe I just love this scene because of nostalgia or maybe I love it because of it's sheer ridiculousness (most likely the latter). Kubrick manages to use humor, quick-witted dialogue, and almost comic-like visual effects to turn this relatively dark scene into a farce. SIDENOTE: this scene is a great example when analyzing one of this film's many misogynistic undertones. 

4. Caught Cheating in the Drive Thru - American Beauty

It's no secret I love Kevin Spacey. It's also no secret I love American Beauty. Lester Burnham is an especially interesting character because he is supposed to be the epitome of boring, American, suburbia.. yet as the film progresses, you find out he is in fact a very complex, slightly neurotic, and very disconnected-from-reality character. His personality is almost surreal and is best highlighted in this scene, where he catches his wife cheating with him while working at a drive thru.. but instead of getting mad (like a normal person) he's more concerned with giving his wife sauce for her order and letting his drive thru supervisor in on the action.

5. Tipping Scene - Reservoir Dogs

This scene is just so relatable and I quote it every time I go out to eat with friends. *Cue Steve Buscemi playing the world's smallest violin* That's all I really have to say about that...

6. Kingdom of Heaven - Battle in the Woods

Kingdom of Heaven isn't really my favorite movie (like a Crusades era movie starring Liam Neeson and Orlando Bloom is a bit ambitious) BUT I will say this scene is incredibly beautiful. The colors, the cinematography, the scenery, the music.. IT'S ALL TOO MUUUUCH.

Choosing the Perfect Date Movie

   Let's face it, first dates are awkward, nerve wracking, and above all: crucial in interesting someone to further pursue a relationship. Because first dates are so important, I've failed to understand why, nine times out of ten, first dates always end up at a movie theater? I've gone on plenty of first dates to the movies and unless I've known the person long before our date, I always find them a bit uncomfortable. How can you get to know someone if you're unable to speak freely? I mean I'll be sitting with a guy I don't really know, and I'm not really sure what to do with myself. Do I lean in towards them or do I lean away? Is he paying, or do I? Is this even a date? Do we share a drink? Should I eat as much popcorn as I really want to, or should I hold back? So many questions, yet no answers.. why? BECAUSE YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW THE PERSON WELL ENOUGH TO FEEL COMFORTABLE ASKING. In my opinion, going to see a movie should be a third or fourth date activity, but for all you people out there who are going to go to the movies anyways, here are some ways to make a movie theater first date as pain-free as possible:

- If you're a guy, clarify that it is in fact a date (say it, tattoo it on your face, pay for the girl, whatever it takes because  friends go see movies too).
- Go out for coffee or dinner before or after (preferably before) to get to know the person and become more comfortable with one another.

- Choose the right movie. Although it may seem like a huge and daunting task, picking the right movie can easily score you a second date.. picking the wrong movie will leave a bad first impression. Just remember: the movie you pick says a lot about who you are (boring movie means boring date).. so choose wisely. Here are a few tips to help you tread these dangerous waters:

Romantic Comedy: If you're a girl, picking a romantic comedy is like saying "Hi I'm a typical girl!" to a guy. If you're a guy, picking a romantic comedy is nice in the way you're trying to accommodate the girl, but it's basically saying "Hi I think you're a typical girl!" (don't assume she'll like a romantic comedy!)

Comedy: You can never go wrong with a comedy, it's fun for both genders! Just make sure its a tasteful comedy, not something lame like an Adam Sandler movie or anything remotely related to the Scary Movie Franchise. Comedic tastes are vast so if you don't know what kind of humor they like, check with them beforehand!

Horror: Picking a horror film is a complete cliche, just don't do it.

Action: Action movies are usually fun, short, and keep the energy running throughout the entire film, you'll get the adrenaline up and the boredom down. Perfect atmosphere for a first date!

Drama: Stay away from dramas, the material is usually to heavy and serious for what's supposed to be a fun first date.

Biopics/Documentaries: Stay away from the biopics.. I mean nobody wants to keep seeing someone who's first date movie choice was Lincoln or a movie about penguins dying out.

Animated: Picking an animated film is can either make or break you: it may either bore someone to death, or impress them with your innocence.

Hope you make use of these tips.. and good luck movie goers!

Pain and Gain Review

      Seems like in the past year, I've gone to the theater with awfully wrong perceptions of the movies I've paid to see. Much like Magic Mike and Spring Breakers, I went into the theater expecting Pain and Gain to be a fun comedy that didn't take itself too seriously, but what I got was something completely unexpected. Well I guess my expectation was only half wrong, the movie didn't take itself too seriously, but not in the way it should have... In case you don't know, this film is in fact based on the true story of abductions and murders in Florida in the 90's. Yet with such serious subject matter (and living descendants of those affected by these crimes), how could anyone involved in the production of this movie condone how it was made. Not only is the dialogue blatantly comedic, but with a supporting cast made up of well known comedians: Rebel Wilson, Ken Jeong and Rob Corddry, how can someone NOT interpret this movie as a comedy? I'm honestly disgusted at how much this film didn't take itself seriously.

     When the movie first started playing, my friend turned to me and said "is this a real story?" to which I assuredly, and honestly, replied "No, no of course not!" Even though the narrator of the film had mentioned it was based on reality, it had been so brief and nonchalant that I didn't believe it, thought it was simply for effect. As the movie progressed, I found myself laughing at the performances of Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, and Anthony Mackie, and thought the film was completely bizarre (but hey! I've always been a fan of the abnormal). Honestly, I was enjoying it (although it was no masterpiece) until the credits rolled, and the awful reality of the nature of the movie was completely revealed. I  felt my jaw drop, and angrily turned back to my friend and said "IT WAS REAL?!" In that moment I had felt SO AWFUL for enjoying the film and laughing along with the actors; I just couldn't believe it... I felt tricked.

     Films based on upsetting true stories should make you feel any emotion besides glee. I mean, look at  films like Changeling and Boys Don't Cry; they make you angry, sad, even outraged at society, they don't, and SHOULDN'T make you laugh, right?

 As much as I adore Mark Wahlberg, I can, in no way, adore this movie. This movie was made in bad taste, and is COMPLETELY disrespectful.

Top Horror Movie Cliches

If you've seen one horror movie, you've seen them all. Whether the characters act like complete idiots, the serial killer never dies, or there's no cell reception, horror movies all have the same basic formula that so many films have mimicked comically. Here's a list of a few of my favorite cliches that we've all seen (and probably never want to see again):

1. Running into the Woods

I'm sure being chased by a serial killer would be incredibly terrifying, but wouldn't it be possible to make some form of logical decision a midst the pressure? I mean, I'm almost positive that the best way to avoid the killer isn't to run into the woods (or any other secluded places for that matter) late at night, right?


2. Falling/Tripping

Seems nobody can stand on their own two feet anymore. I know the characters are scared, tired, and stressed out, but that doesn't mean they need to have two left feet. Advice to horror movie characters: when you fall off the horse, get back on (for your own good).



3. Trying to Fight Back

We've all seen that overly confident, self proclaimed 'tough guy' trying to fight off the serial killer, but let's get real it's to no avail; he just needs to sit back down and wait patiently for his turn to die. Although I've got to admit, their attempts at fighting back are admirable (but they should know by now that serial killers just never die in the movies).

4. Dying While Having Sex

If you have sex in a horror movie, chances are your friends are probably dead and you will be too by the time you finish. I just wish the serial killers would stop killing in the name of love.


5. Inept Policemen

Whether the cop is corrupt, in cahoots with the murderer, or just no help at all, an incompetent police officer is a vital part of a horror movie formula.Cops' duties are to protect and serve, but in horror movies nowadays it seems you're better off trying to protect yourself, than call the cops (if you're privileged enough to have phone reception).


6. Teenagers

Most horror films start off light and airy, with a group of overly happy teenagers (usually a group of five - 2 girls, 3 guys) ready to party and have the time of their lives. So if you're a teenager in a horror movie, the best way to stay alive is to probably not go on that road trip with your friends.

7. Little Girls Getting Possessed by Demons

You'd think demons would have something better to do than possess little girls, right? In almost all paranormal themed movies lately, a little girl aged 7-12 is usually the target of a demons possession. It would be a little refreshing if we saw a little boy get possessed every once in a while.

Is a Magic Mike Sequel Necessary?

    In July 2012, Channing Tatum confirmed that a Magic Mike sequel is in the works. To be completely honest, I was a bit disappointed with the movie.. the stripping scenes were entertaining for a while, but as the movie progressed the novelty wore off FAST. The handsome lead actors weren't enough to keep me interested. The film's lack of character depth, weird (for lack of a better word) cinematography, and at times bizarre plot, left me feeling a bit underwhelmed. Most of the scenes of the film that took place outside of the main strip club were used to add to the actual story line, but I felt they fell flat and most were mostly unnecessary and pointless. Considering most who went to see the movie were excitedly looking forward to a light comedy with some great sex appeal, I think I speak for most who watched the film, when I say: It wasn't the movie I expected at all. The film itself falls somewhere between a semi-funny comedy, and a drama about a struggling drug addict;  I don't think it knew just what kind of genre it was supposed to fall under. If a movie doesn't understand its purpose, how can the audience be expected to? This brings me to my point: Is a sequel even necessary? Personally, I won't pay another twelve dollars to watch the sequel, and I'm sure a lot of other women feel the same way.

What are your thoughts?

Movies That Gave Us Unrealistic Expectations of Love

      We're all looking for love; and if you're single, you're all too familiar with living vicariously through the relationships you see in the movies. Real men just don't compare to the ones in movies; whether they're buying stars, writing a letter a day for a year, or standing in front of houses with boomboxes over their heads, movie-men are that of sheer fantasy. With Valentines Day here, why not revisit some of our favorite romantic movies and the unrealistic expectations of love/romance/relationships they gave us.

The Notebook

What it taught us... The guy you almost banged when you were 17 will never stop loving you, BONUS:  he will be patiently waiting for you to come back to him.

In the real world... He moves on....and probably won't remember you by his 20th birthday.

A Walk to Remember

What it taught us.... The popular asshole falls in love with the quiet, shy girl.
In the real world... A serious, long term relationship is the last thing this kind of guy is looking for; and chances are he won't notice you until he turns to his friends when the yearbook comes out and says: "Who is that? Did she even go to our school?".


The Titanic



What it taught us.... It is possible to fall so deeply in love in a span of three days, that your new found love will freeze in the North Atlantic Ocean to save your life.

In the real world... The guy you just met will most likely save himself over you (if you're lucky he'll share the door with you).

Pretty Woman

What it taught us.... A low-class prostitute has a better chance of scoring a handsome, rich and successful businessman than you do.

In the real world... This would just never happen.



Friends With Benefits

What it taught us....  You will eventually realize that you have a mutual affection for your 'friend with bennies', get in a big fight, but end up dating and living happily ever after.

In the real world...  There is no happily ever after after the big fight, chances are you like him more than he likes you...he'll find another slam-piece sooner or later.

Knocked Up

What it taught us.... That guy you had the one night stand with the other day (which resulted in your unexpected pregnancy) will actually turn out to be a really great guy who'll help you raise the child.

In the real world... You never hear from the guy again.



Rumour Has it



What it taught us.... It's totally okay for you to sleep with the same man your mother slept with.

In the real world... It's not (even if it is Kevin Costner).

Movies 101

   Whether you're browsing through Netflix or scanning the seemingly endless shelves at your local video store in hopes of spotting a movie that catches your eye, trying to pick a movie to watch can be a very daunting task. Time consuming, flustering, and usually disappointing, the search for the perfect movie to suit your mood is no easy feat. In order to help all you moviegoers out there, I've created a quick reference guide to movies that'll be sure to leave you happy at your next movie night!

Do you believe in love?

Real love is undoubtedly the most lucrative thing in the world, although the easiest place to find it is on the silver screen. Whether it's date night with your significant other, a movie night with the girls, or a lazy day alone, a romantic film is perfect for almost all occasions. Personally, I find The Notebook (and most Nicholas Sparks adaptations for that matter) slightly overrated...oh and be sure to stay away from ANY Jennifer Lopez and Katherine Heigl romantic comedies.
Movies you can't go wrong with: A Walk to Remember, Moonrise Kingdom, You've Got Mail

Looking for a thrill?

The second most lucrative thing on this planet is a decent horror film; as I've mentioned countless times on my blog, I am VERY displeased with horror films lately. Despite promising plot lines, horror films fail due to their lack of actual horror. The horror franchise now relies solely on gore, blood, and demons possessing young girls, opposed to what they should be doing: actually evoking fear in the audience. Here's a couple movies that'll have you hiding underneath the blankets in no time.
Movies you can't go wrong with: The Cabin in the Woods (Horror/Comedy), The Shining, The Sixth Sense, Trick R Treat

Feel Good Movies?

The BEST kind of movies are the ones that leave you feeling good about yourself by the time the credits roll. If you're feeling a little down on your luck, a 'feel good' movie is sure you turn that frown upside down! Tackiness of my previous sentence aside, the best pick-me-up can sometimes be immersing yourself completely in the, sometimes perfect, world of film.
Movies you can't go wrong with: Happy Feet, Kung Fu Panda, Real Steel, Safety Not Guaranteed

Do you feel like crying?

As weird as it is, we all have those moments where we just feel like crying for no apparent reason. It's an unexplained phenomenon, but we've all been there at one point or another. Although there's nothing sadder than a sad movie that's not sad, here are a few of my top tear jerkers, that are sure to have you reaching for the tissue box.
Movies you can't go wrong with: The Lovely Bones, Marley and Me, Changeling

Did you just get broken up with?

We've all had our fair share of heartaches and heartbreaks, it's one of the most sensitive (and unpleasant) times in our lives. Considering you probably watched some films with your significant other, it's probably for the best that you steer clear of any that remind you of them, and watch ones that are sure to make you feel a lot better! (Even if it's only for a little while, I'm sure your friends can take care of the rest).
Movies you can't go wrong with: 500 Days of Summer, He's Just Not That Into You, Forgetting Sarah Marshall

In the mood for crime?

A perfect mix of unexpected plot twists, great acting, and an even greater story line, can create one of the most entertaining film genres in the industry: Crime. Personally, the unparallelled thrills you get while watching crime films top that of any other genre. Whether you're trying to figure out the mystery before your friends or watching The Mafia do their dirty work, crime films are one of the best film types around.
Movies you can't go wrong with: The Departed, Pulp Fiction, The Godfather, The Usual Suspects, Reservoir Dogs, Savages

Want to Laugh?

Put away the lackluster Adam Sandler 'comedies' for good, and choose a movie that relies a little less on gross out gags and a little more on the art of comedy. The perfect comedy (to me) has two main attributes: 1. Keeps me smiling, and frequently laughing throughout the film. 2. Is sometimes, but not always, crude.
Movies you can't go wrong with: Little Miss Sunshine, 21 Jump Street, Raising Arizona

Just looking for a good movie?

If you're looking to experiment with different genres, but don't know where to start, here's a little list of movie suggestions which I'm sure would please any audience:
Movies you can't go wrong with:  Moonrise Kingdom, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, A Clockwork Orange, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Dead Poets Society, Scent of a Woman, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus